Magic Word: pundit
In the year 202X, humanity had enough. The mysterious experts of the media had to be exposed, and the controlling businesses realized that they could make money from this exposure.. by allowing a day where people could punch these people.. then learn their profession.
Jake Middles entered the convention center where the targets were gathered. They were paid seventy percent of the total profits, so they had no issue with a little pain. He paid his 200 dollars, then the line began. The first man was in a standard traditional suit with a gold tie. Jake reared back, and the man jerked at the impact. “Just a bonus to a psychiatrist paycheck.” The man said with a smirk. The next person was a portly man with a fedora and grizzled beard. Jake gave him a quick jab and the man jolted, clearly used to the physical abuse. “You’ll respect Internet sociology one day!” he said with a hint of irritation. Jake then noticed a rather unique individual.. he wore a T-shirt for the show “Panty and Stocking”, sported a Pinkie Pie tattoo on his bicep, and topped it off with basketball shorts. Confused, Jake lined up and faced the individual. It was Jake’s turn to react, as the pundit reached out a hand to greet him. “Ready to party?” He asked with a gentle grin on his face. Jake hesitated for a moment, before returning the handshake. The man gently retracted his arm, before a blur sent Jake tumbling to the ground. Jake looked up to see a blurred vision of the guy practicing roundhouse kicks in the air, pondered if he was a professional martial artist and realized that sometimes the experts are just that; experts.